Fox New's John Gibson the "Uglyist Man In America"?

The environmentalists are at it again in Alaska. You all know about how we can't get a gazillion barrels of oil out of the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge — ANWR — and now the anti-oil crowd is demanding the rest of Alaska be off limits to oil exploration, too.

This is a line from an AP story today about western Alaska, one of the few places in the world we don't have to send troops to protect an oil supply. The AP story says: "Conservationists hope an eventual listing of the yellow-billed loon will curb petroleum development in the 23-million acre reserve that covers much of Alaska's western North Slope."

That's 400,000-square-miles of Alaska they want off limits to oil over the yellow-billed loon.

Let me introduce you to the yellow-billed loon. There are 16,000 of them in the world, and about 5,000 nest in the area where oil exploration would be allowed. Let's remember the enviros and their liberal enablers are always saying we're fighting for oil in Iraq. Now let's just say they're right for a moment. That means the enviros value 5,000 yellow-billed loons more than a like number of American soldiers.

Television Evangelist Falwell Dies at 73

Founder of the Moral Majority Rev. Jerry Falwell Dies at 73, Liberty University Executive Says

There is a voice out there
a pixalized fiasco
a wave of beauty the lord
can not define. Mr. Falwell
what side of hell did you land
in? Are the soldiers happy
you are there with them now?
Sure,
this body is a dark art.
Sure,
this sentiment can contain
the heartbeatten rhyme. Why
must you haunt us and why must
these children appear as pilgrims
with your name upon
their lips. It's discraceful
they will never kiss the
the quivering loins of a lover.
She too is our savior. I miss her
and they miss her
like heaven they miss her
the way we miss unkown beauty,
unknown justice.

New Iraqi school had bombs built in

Do you remember when we were
under the bamboo
and you kept saying,
everywhere everywhere
as though you were the noise
of the stalks and their whatever?
I never thought
words could become like that to us.
What was it
was it anything?

Mouse brain simulated on computer

The remainder of this section explains how to create these files. Recommended DDK and Build Combinations.

Even you would not come back alive.

We might labour far upstream and yet miss it in the fog.

We must call for him. We know very little of Saint Rihndell's inner motivation, but we do know his repair business has existed for at least forty years.

He was always coming in and sitting down in the back of the room for about a half an hour.

Started out as a stash on Memory Lane, chips in his head and people paid to hide data there.

We may want to try to get a newer copy of the code from Netscape before shipping Vertigo.

This instruction converts 32 and 64 bit operand to an 80 bit extended precision value before pushing the value onto the floating point stack.

The dining-room was filling with unpleasant blue smoke.

We know what put English gold in his pocket. We live in a nine-storeyed block of flats.

Blue Angels jet crashes during air show, killing aviator

The white ninja sleeps on his back.
He appears as lightening from space.
In photographs, he's the moon. In film:
the shadow of a dog or a horse
or a squirrel devouring a gold ring
which you perceive as a nut. He invented
the internet, the skate key, legos,
windshield wipers, the space elevator,
Kevlar, and the roundhouse.
The white ninja sneezes radiation, his blood
is an h-bomb.
The white ninja is a series of tubes
inside of tubes. His brain is an electromagnet
his penis a sonogram
he can see inside of you with it. His eyes are
a mask of bamboo breezing on the hillside
a whisper of wind releasing
the flood of eastern tears. His hands are the
sky holding 10 blue jets. When he throws
one to the ground he is not angry
only worried. The white ninja has no worries
his perspiration is a perfect religion.
The white ninja never sweats.

Nina Wang, formerly Hong Kong's richest woman, has left her fortune to her feng shui adviser, her lawyer says.

Headline poem #1

Wang's riches 'for feng shui man'

Once Upon a Time in the West

Bollywood stars are set for marriage
and there are 2 for 1
dances all day till 8
@ the Yellow Rose
and most
of the time I feel like Jason Robards
that harmonica playing somewhere
waiting for the man to enter
blazing 2 guns. I was watching
Star Wars at Bar Flys
with the sound off
the white titles flipping “Plug him into
the hyperdrive.” I don’t fear
being a failure
I just don’t want to be mediocre
I need to know when to give up
and I’m afraid of the guy
blazing the 2 guns.

China issues new rules on organs

China has issued new regulations governing human organ transplants, state media has reported.

Are you kidding me,
I need a new kidney.
I don't care from where it came
from a yellow brother or an african babe.
I don't have time to adopt a chinese girl
and harvest one of hers:
my blood is killing me now!
I need me some organ kung-pow!

I'm going in a new direction with my poems. I'm going to be more associative and ellipitical. I've noticed a lot of young poets are writing this way, and I want to try it for myself, share in the zeitgeist. Below is my first attempt.


In the Office of the 17th Flr


Goofy orbs go riding out
as the roaches speed the bottle--

a dune in the diaper,
pillboxes adding modular

approaches to the collateral.
The mouth

as health regimen.

Britain and Iran raise the stakes

Britain and Iran have raised the diplomatic and propaganda temperature in the battle over the 15 captured British sailors and marines.

Row, Row, Row Your Navel Vessel

“Rowing is a skillful, if tedious, practice that takes perfection but also directs the vessel.” —Wikipedia


Row, row, row your navel vessel
Gently into international waters,
Merrily, merrily, merrily,
Until Iran seizes it in the name of Al Fater,
And Blair demands “gimme back my man”
Or the shit will hit the proverbial fan—
Merrily, merrily, merrily,
We’re going to bomb Iran.

Senate backs Iraq withdrawal date

US troops in Iraq: Coming home soon?

The US Senate has passed a bill calling for all US combat troops to leave Iraq within a year, defying a veto threat.

Iraqus Interuptus

also known as withdrawal or the pull out method, is a method of de-occupation in which, during armed occupation, the Americans are removed from Iraq prior to stabilization, primarily to avoid introducing peace into the region. Coitus interruptus may also more generally refer to any extraction of the army prior to ejaculation during intercourse. This method has been widely used for at least 2,000 years and was used by an estimated 38 million nations worldwide in 1991. Iraqus interruptus often results in pregnancy and civil war.

From the Journals of Star Trek the Next Generation's Wesley Crusher

I had to wait outside the holodeck
for like 3 hours waiting for
the captain to finish pretending
he's sherlock holmes. I finally got
in there and was
banging the 6 tited alien chick
in my harem program
when Jordi La Forge barged in.
He was all like
what the f--- are you doing
and I said, what does it look
like I'm doing
and he said, you can' t do
that in here. And i said
what, are you going to tell my mom.
he didn't say anything
so I swiped his glasses from him
and loaded my nascar racetrack
program.

White House official Libby guilty

Lewis Libby outside court in Washington
Lewis "Scooter" Libby was a key figure in the White House
A former key White House official, Lewis Libby, has been found guilty of obstruction of justice and perjury.

Red Rover (a poem)

Red Rover, Red Rover, send Scooter over

to Federal pound-you-in-the-ass-prison.

Britney, your head.

Hair is our enemy.
The axis of evil? Hair, hair,
and hair. It tried to
take over our vaginas,
Britney, but you defeated it.
It tried to take over
our heads, Britney, but you
prevailed. I wonder if
it isn't growing on your babies.
I wonder if you wonder.
I wonder if you look at Lindsay,
at Paris, and are horrified.
Their colonized heads.
They are mere husks. We
are mere husks, the hair crawling
from body to body as it
outgrows us. Go back to that
salon, Britney. The hair
won't be there, scattered on the
floor. It got hungry.

Entertainment: Anna Nicole Smith dies

The Playboys are crying
their blank pages like
busted teeth
a negative whiteness
like the albino black
an octogenarian millionaire
an airbrushed tattoo
a bang-bang photo of loss.
Anna Nichole, we cry out for your
ponderous life, Danielynne
cries for your ponderous bosom.
Our pages cry out
People and US and Enquirer
cry out in glee,
"TrimSpa, Baby!"

Gerald Rudolph Ford (born Leslie Lynch King, Jr., July 14, 1913 – December 26, 2006

Pardon me, Leslie,
America's first and
only king--not a vote
was cast. You dabbed
a wounded country
with injustice. It
is still infected (CNN
has ratings-induced amnesia).
But unlike other monarchies,
America doesn't believe
in Divine Rights.
Hopefully someone will
resign or get impeached
from heaven. As for me,
I'll be dodging it.
But I'm not worried,
you'll let us all in
--me, Squeaky, Ms. Moore
--eventually.

Soul 'Godfather' James Brown dies

"Godfather of Soul" James Brown was being treated for "severe pneumonia" in an Atlanta hospital when he died.

It's a man's man's man's man's world.

This is a man's world, this is a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl

You see, man made the cars to take us over the road
Man made the trains to carry heavy loads
Man made electric light to take us out of the dark
Man made the boat for the water, like Noah made the ark

This is a man's, a man's, a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl

Man thinks about a little baby girls and a baby boys
Man makes then happy 'cause man makes them toys
And after man has made everything, everything he can
You know that man makes money to buy from other man

This is a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl

He's lost in the wilderness
He's lost in bitterness

Saddam Hussein executed in Iraq

The former Iraqi leader, Saddam Hussein, has been hanged in northern Baghdad for crimes against humanity.


Justice, in the name of the people,
has carried out the death against Saddam,
facing fate like an immigrant in this land,
frightened and terrified
the book like a broken promise in his hands.
Peer on, White Ninja, his body wrapped
in a shroud. Unhooded, oh ninja.
Where were the cameras when he dropped?
Were the rest of his charges dropped?
Was justice swift so Baghdad streets
can rise from the darkness,
a nightmare dreamt by insurgents
not this blathering figurehead
ugly, impotent, abandoned.

Britney, your vagina.


The umbrella of its
blondeness protects us.
Makes us a different
country. Desertless.
There is no wilderness
inside Paris’ ride; we
are with your babies.
We are behind every
camera you see. We
are not at war. We know
where we are. Lostness
has been lost—we
are where the panties
used to be.

Spederline tape for sale:

The News of the World story also alleges that the real reason that Britney suddenly decided to divorce him was because she caught Kevin cheating on her

In a fog/haze he arrises
past dawn, his dawgs around
the VIP room, the big screen on
why the hell did Brittney
leave him? The thrill may be gone
and 'Y'all Ain't Ready'
has totally bombed
so he needs to be the daddy.
Whether slutburned
or pre-nupburned
isn't he still K-fed?
His fans love him
when Britt is with Jared.
At least the tape's worth 26 million.