Powerful pastor's drug purchases shocks evangelicals

STATEMENT OF FAITH
adapted from http://www.tedhaggard.com/

Holy Bible: Left in my car when I go to the house of the prostitute.

Trinity: One preacher, one prostitute, crystal meth.

Jesus Christ: One preacher, 13 men. Where's the meth?

Virgin Birth: Sex with another man, no pregency.

Redemption: The preacher was created good and upright, the prostitute bent over.

Regeneration: For anyone to know man love, meth is essential.

Salvation: Meth is a gift from God, not a result of our good works or of any human effort.

Sanctification: Sanctification is the ongoing process of yielding to a prostitute.

Repentance: Repentance is the commitment to turn away from sin in every area of our lives, but sometimes, you just gotta get stoned and screw a dude.