S Korea probes 'cell phone death'

Authorities in South Korea are investigating the death of a man amid reports he may have been killed by an exploding mobile phone battery.

Gil, this is your god calling. What
do you think you are doing? Where
have you been. There was that
thing with that girl you slept with
and I didn't hear from you
then that drunk phone call
when she left you for that
one-eyed doctor you
suspected that was to happen
anyway. Gil,
did you hear about the miner
down in shanghai
his cell phone blew up
and fried his
heart like robin's egg? Gil
i miss you. Its
hard to reach you when you're
hiding in the shaft.

Tests end Texan goat-sucker stir

US scientists say an animal found in Texas is not the chupacabra - or goat-sucker - of American myth, but a coyote with a hair loss problem.

I am the ghost of the unknown soldier
the crocodile of christmas past
the oil baron with a heart
the compassionate conservative
the coathanger abortion of dreams.
Take me from here
this texas prarie
bury me in the science past.
My carcass sprouts the cure for cancer
my bones are WMDs. Do you remember
when you were in that Waco bar
and the waitress showed you a small kindness
her mom tattoo of truth? I am
the tall double. I am George Bush's sobriety,
I am the fountain of youth.

The deputy mayor of the Indian capital Delhi has died a day after being attacked by a horde of wild monkeys.

SERIOUS HEAD INJURIES

It may look like we are
training larger, more
ferocious monkeys
to guard us from the hordes
of smaller monkeys. We know
what what we are doing,
Deputy Mayor; we know
what we did. Evolution
is an infestation too, Deputy
Mayor, an infestation in
your mind. We're reversing
the process, Deputy Mayor,
eliminating ourselves, one
by one, species by species,
ridding the world of thoughts
our heads are thinking--the
slowest suicide bombing
the world has ever seen.

'Bin Laden call' to Iraq fighters

Have you ever seen a ghost
talk to a ghost? They do it
on the internet all the time
they do it with cell phones.
Do you remember in ghostbusters
when egon got all slimed?
Well at least he touched the ghost
at least he knew
what he was chasing
was real. I liked the part
about the gate keeper
and I liked the part about
the key master. Even
when I was a kid
I knew that was about screwing.
Well, this ghost is screwing us
and its your fault. He gives
your movie 2 thumbs
up your butt.

Thais arrest paedophile suspect

"I'm Big inside of Thailand.
I'm huge on Cambodia."

Global hunt for child-sex suspect

my face is a whirlpool
of pain
I thought you were allowed
to have sex with boys
in cambodia
I thought that's what
cambodia is for
I thought my head
was an eraser
I'd erase myself in boys

iPod catches fire in pants

Another soundbite about Iran
another college speaker controversy
the white ninja yawned, napped,
and rose to look out over the fallowed
housing market
the blackwater river. A TSA employee with an
iPod caught his pants on fire. And it wasn't
because he played
"Sexual Healing" on the device
which reminds me,
I used to think maybe
sexual healing would help out the Shiites.
It's not
a story about what happened
it's about what could have been. Ninja
do you wet your mask
with tears? Yeah, ninja,
I wish we could float a moderate
electable candidate too. Ninja
I'm gonna vote for you.

Under the Divider

Sen. Craig, I know
your soul is in
the stall next to my
soul. I hope, in
whatever airport
bathroom in heaven
they are in, that
their feet are
tapping out
the same language,
that they are
blocking the doors
with their luggage,
that in my soul's
outstretched hand,
your soul puts
its package.

Utah disappeared.
Karl Malone refers to Karl Malone
as Karl Malone. The fault line of his
self must have shifted. The wives are
crying for their husband.
Polytragedy. lol. Coal minor's
daughters, be mine. I got mine,
Harold Miner. Be my baby, Baby Jordan.
Have you ever had an Asian minor?
A mine is a terrible thing to waste.
BTW, they're dead.

bone rank

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, Michael Vick.
Did you ever see that movie, Michael Vick?
The one where the dog gets rabies
and attacks a family in a car, Michael Vick?
It wasn't rabies, Michael Vick.
Have you ever stood beneath the trees,
Michael Vick? Cho had a hammer.
Where were you, Michael Vick? Were you
hunting with a dog, Michael Vick? Were you
quiet, Michael Vick. Shhh...fall asleep,
Michael Vick. Hit me in the end zone, Michael Vick.
You'll never be a voice in SHREK, Michael Vick.
Kujo called...he wants his sequel back.

dear posh,

Ive flown too close to the sun
I am the gallexy
my tan is the wholeness
that holds you like
a grapefruit in
havana
your rape victum haircut
bends
there was this time I played in italy
and this little
korean man jumped on the field and
we walked thourgh the tunnel
there hand in hand

luv,
becks

US drag car race death toll rises

The car reportedly fish-tailed and then spun into the crowd

Three more people have died after an accident at a drag car race in the US, bringing the death toll to seven.

I've set my tires afire
in the rally in the ally
down in the moonshine valley
where the tanktops ride
in ragtops
and theinfield RVs
squawk with CBs
and ABC motorsports
broadcasts Fords
on the wideworld of sports.
Teenagers love popcorn
cokes, exhaust
on cars painted so purple
they can only explode
never rust.
Sometimes the car bucks
like a bull
in Pamplona. Sometimes
the kids don't come home.

Fox New's John Gibson the "Uglyist Man In America"?

The environmentalists are at it again in Alaska. You all know about how we can't get a gazillion barrels of oil out of the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge — ANWR — and now the anti-oil crowd is demanding the rest of Alaska be off limits to oil exploration, too.

This is a line from an AP story today about western Alaska, one of the few places in the world we don't have to send troops to protect an oil supply. The AP story says: "Conservationists hope an eventual listing of the yellow-billed loon will curb petroleum development in the 23-million acre reserve that covers much of Alaska's western North Slope."

That's 400,000-square-miles of Alaska they want off limits to oil over the yellow-billed loon.

Let me introduce you to the yellow-billed loon. There are 16,000 of them in the world, and about 5,000 nest in the area where oil exploration would be allowed. Let's remember the enviros and their liberal enablers are always saying we're fighting for oil in Iraq. Now let's just say they're right for a moment. That means the enviros value 5,000 yellow-billed loons more than a like number of American soldiers.

Television Evangelist Falwell Dies at 73

Founder of the Moral Majority Rev. Jerry Falwell Dies at 73, Liberty University Executive Says

There is a voice out there
a pixalized fiasco
a wave of beauty the lord
can not define. Mr. Falwell
what side of hell did you land
in? Are the soldiers happy
you are there with them now?
Sure,
this body is a dark art.
Sure,
this sentiment can contain
the heartbeatten rhyme. Why
must you haunt us and why must
these children appear as pilgrims
with your name upon
their lips. It's discraceful
they will never kiss the
the quivering loins of a lover.
She too is our savior. I miss her
and they miss her
like heaven they miss her
the way we miss unkown beauty,
unknown justice.

New Iraqi school had bombs built in

Do you remember when we were
under the bamboo
and you kept saying,
everywhere everywhere
as though you were the noise
of the stalks and their whatever?
I never thought
words could become like that to us.
What was it
was it anything?

Mouse brain simulated on computer

The remainder of this section explains how to create these files. Recommended DDK and Build Combinations.

Even you would not come back alive.

We might labour far upstream and yet miss it in the fog.

We must call for him. We know very little of Saint Rihndell's inner motivation, but we do know his repair business has existed for at least forty years.

He was always coming in and sitting down in the back of the room for about a half an hour.

Started out as a stash on Memory Lane, chips in his head and people paid to hide data there.

We may want to try to get a newer copy of the code from Netscape before shipping Vertigo.

This instruction converts 32 and 64 bit operand to an 80 bit extended precision value before pushing the value onto the floating point stack.

The dining-room was filling with unpleasant blue smoke.

We know what put English gold in his pocket. We live in a nine-storeyed block of flats.

Blue Angels jet crashes during air show, killing aviator

The white ninja sleeps on his back.
He appears as lightening from space.
In photographs, he's the moon. In film:
the shadow of a dog or a horse
or a squirrel devouring a gold ring
which you perceive as a nut. He invented
the internet, the skate key, legos,
windshield wipers, the space elevator,
Kevlar, and the roundhouse.
The white ninja sneezes radiation, his blood
is an h-bomb.
The white ninja is a series of tubes
inside of tubes. His brain is an electromagnet
his penis a sonogram
he can see inside of you with it. His eyes are
a mask of bamboo breezing on the hillside
a whisper of wind releasing
the flood of eastern tears. His hands are the
sky holding 10 blue jets. When he throws
one to the ground he is not angry
only worried. The white ninja has no worries
his perspiration is a perfect religion.
The white ninja never sweats.

Nina Wang, formerly Hong Kong's richest woman, has left her fortune to her feng shui adviser, her lawyer says.

Headline poem #1

Wang's riches 'for feng shui man'

Once Upon a Time in the West

Bollywood stars are set for marriage
and there are 2 for 1
dances all day till 8
@ the Yellow Rose
and most
of the time I feel like Jason Robards
that harmonica playing somewhere
waiting for the man to enter
blazing 2 guns. I was watching
Star Wars at Bar Flys
with the sound off
the white titles flipping “Plug him into
the hyperdrive.” I don’t fear
being a failure
I just don’t want to be mediocre
I need to know when to give up
and I’m afraid of the guy
blazing the 2 guns.

China issues new rules on organs

China has issued new regulations governing human organ transplants, state media has reported.

Are you kidding me,
I need a new kidney.
I don't care from where it came
from a yellow brother or an african babe.
I don't have time to adopt a chinese girl
and harvest one of hers:
my blood is killing me now!
I need me some organ kung-pow!